sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was confusing and full of hummus
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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