You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
