He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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