people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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