Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
