GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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