3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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