so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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