Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
