wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize