you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
