I didn't shave. On purpose
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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