around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize