Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
