I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
