Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
