Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
