I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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