is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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