I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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