Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
