what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
