Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
