quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
