I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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