I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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