physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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