The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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