Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We need to rekindle our bromance
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
