Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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