You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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