haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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