I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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