Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
