i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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