he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
