There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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