no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Watching her eat just hurts me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
