Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I will be naked everywhere
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
