forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
