my vag is so smooth its legendary
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
