but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish I only lived at night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
