Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She bit a glass in half.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
