I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
