Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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