it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize