areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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