You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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