you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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