I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Congratulations! We have a period
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