hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
