bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
