Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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