Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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