Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
