i barfeds in our rink
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
