ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
