ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
