yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
