just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
