I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
