you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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