He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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