that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
