Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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