Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
