So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
