i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
