they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
