I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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