I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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